These issues are somehow correlated. Like, for instance, if you have intimacy issues, it could be the reason why you are commitment phobic or codependent. These deep-seated fears ruin your chances of a happy life and a bright future with your partner. They won’t allow you to have a healthy and mutually satisfying relationship. We may have the capacity to love someone and accept them for who they are, but eventually get tired of always adjusting and accommodating to our partner’s needs in the long run. They know they have issues, but because they also need love, they won’t tell you right away, or they may never admit it. The signs are almost always obvious. It’s up to you if you’d still want to continue the relationship or cut your losses and move on.
Let’s first try to understand what each issue truly means and how it can affect us.
Commitment phobia – Is the fear of committing to a long-term relationship. Commitment phobic people also want a long-term relationship, but anxiety and fear stop them from committing. The cause and extent varies. Some people get too anxious and run away from a relationship before it gets deeper. Some simply can’t commit.
Sometimes it takes a really special person to change a commitment-phobic. But most of the time, you just have to let go and find love elsewhere.
Intimacy issues – Any bad experiences can cause severe intimacy issues growing up. Fear of intimacy also varies, but it’s when someone fears being physically or emotionally intimate with another person. They are usually distant and have a hard time communicating their feelings. They jump like a knee-jerk reaction when they are touched physically or run away when asked a very personal question.
Codependency – It’s sort of the opposite of the first two. Codependency is when someone depends on, or relies on their partner for support to the point of paralysis. They are paralyzed without their partners. They can’t function well without the approval or support from their partner. This destructive behavior can also greatly affect the other person involved in the relationship.
Dysfunctional family, drug, alcohol and sexual abuse are just some of the causes why people develop these conditions.
People suffering from all these issues also crave and deserve love, but they also need all the help they can get. The more you understand the what, why, and how, the better you can help and cope with the effects. Although the problem is deeply rooted in the person’s childhood, it can be treated.
If you are or you think your partner has one of these, seek professional help before it ruins your relationship. However, if you just met someone and you get along really well at the beginning, you won’t really know they have any problems until you get intimate or when you voice out your plan to take the relationship to the next level. You can help them get through it or accept that you can’t be together. Either way, if the issues remain unresolved, you won’t have the chance to fully enjoy your life and relationships.
